Meet Dale

I first noticed that I had a white patch on my right hand thumb in 2012 when I was 20 years old.

Thinking that I had just burnt myself with hot water, I left it and thought it was just going to be there for the rest of my life as a burn mark on my hand.

A new patch then showed up in the middle of my right hand and one of my friend suggested that I should get it checked out. I went to my GP at the time and wanted her to check it out. She had a look and then consulted a medical textbook in order to see what it was and how to treat it. She confirmed that it looked like Vitiligo and placed me onto a Protopic cortisol cream in order to try and treat it.

I remember walking out of the Dr’s office and phoning my mom and telling her about my diagnosis. I then told her that I did not want to live if I looked like I had skin that made me similar to a cow. I was really worried with the industry that I was in that they may not accept my Vitiligo and I would loose my job and career that I was so passionate about. I though that there would be no growth and that I would have to leave my industry and career behind.

My mother was, understandably, worried and tried to help in any way possible with my journey. She was googling as I had never seen anyone google before to try and figure out a plan in order to treat me and cure my vitiligo. As a parent I think that she felt so bad as this was completely out of her hands and she could do absolutely nothing for me. I did not help matters by pulling away whenever the subject was brought up and got angry and defensive when the subject was approached thinking that this would protect me and if I did not think about my diagnosis, it would go away. As they say, I hurried my head in the sand.

Whilst I was working at my job at the time, I hid my Vitiligo and always wore long sleeved work shirts, even in the middle of summer where the temperatures rose into the thirties, just to feel more confident and not to have to communicate about my vitiligo.

It was a daunting time and I felt that my life was over.

I did not at all accept myself and was completely paranoid about getting into relationships as ‘how could someone else love someone with skin that is not natural or normal in any way?’

My vitiligo spread due to the stress of a new job and trying to hide my Vitiligo. My colleagues mentioned it whenever they noticed it and brought it to my attention. Not in any negative way, they were just interested in my condition and tried to help me out by reminding me to put sunscreen on and look after my skin. I was sent to countries in Africa with quite high UV indexes and that completely worried me. I was constantly staying out of the sunlight in order to not have my pigmented skin darken so that my spots would not be visible. Every time that my vitiligo was brought up, I was more and more ashamed of myself and this made me feel really low and despondent. The vitiligo had now spread to around my eyes and down my neck as well as in my armpits.

I decided to visit a dermatologist and paid for this privately. The dermatologist took one look at me and confirmed it was vitiligo. There was no woods lamp used or anything. I then asked him what we could do to treat my vitiligo and he said to me, in a very nonchalant and no care way, that there was nothing to do and I will have to accept it just as if I had freckles. I was absolutely terrified and angry as someone who is supposed to help cure you and treat you for medical problems had just let me down completely with not a second thought of how I was feeling. This was the nail in the coffin of my emotions and I broke down, having a major breakdown that lasted a few months. I continued to work however, I had felt like I had lost myself and my identity as well as personality. It was carnage in my thoughts and I constantly kept thinking about this.

I moved over to the Untied Kingdom in 2019 in order to start my new life and, what an experience that was. None of my colleagues asked me about my vitiligo and it was fantastic, I felt welcomed and immediately felt better about myself. Having said that, it was still a very sore subject with myself and I still did not want to talk about my skin condition. And then, Covid happened. During 2020 I still worked but, my Vitiligo had a rapid spread throughout my body due to stress. Once again, I was concerned and embarrassed about my body and skin conditions, trying not to let anyone see my vitiligo.

And then a miracle happened. I worked with a colleague who, as it so happened, was also from South Africa. Unapologetically she grabbed my now fully white hand and said to me “I wish I had vitiligo, I think it makes you so unique and beautiful”. I was obviously shocked and embarrassed with what had happened. But, it was like a light switch had flicked in my brain. I thought “if someone else can think that of me, why can I not think like that about myself?” And it was like a new day. I started to accept my Vitiligo and falling in love with it. I had my ups and downs but I was fully prepared to fall in love with my skin as my skin was unique and beautiful. It was not an easy journey but it was starting to get so much better.

I joined The Vitiligo Society in order to keep myself active and keep my brain functioning. My goal was to help at least one person who had Vitiligo and could not accept themselves or feel unwanted or unloved. I began by answering queries coming in on emails and also picking up voicemail messages. The amount of people out there with Vitiligo who had bad experiences was astounding. From GP’s and dermatologists just brushing them off like I had been and being completely self conscious about their own skin was horrifying. I tried ton help them out as much as I could with sharing my own journey through Vitiligo and empathising with them and their own journeys, encouraging to love themselves and if that was too far away, to try and get second opinions from GP’s and dermatologists.

I was then invited to become a trustee with The Vitiligo Society and gladly accepted, knowing that I could make more of a change throughout the world. I have since then, set up many services to assist with supporting those who have Vitiligo. I feel that this is fully needed in the world, even though there are more and more models, actors, sports stars and public who have Vitiligo. It is becoming more accepted however, it still is not quite there yet.

One of my milestones was when my 6 year old goddaughter asked me why I have spots on my skin. I was a bit taken aback for a moment as I could not think for a second or two. What do you say to a 6 year old to explain why you have a visible difference? I then decided to explain to her that this is just how my skin is. And obviously I was asked but why though? So I asked her if she knew what a Dalmatian was and lucky, she did. I said that my skin is like a Dalmatians, I have spots and just like a Dalmatian, it makes me no different to others. A Dalmatian is not seen as different just because it has spots. She accepted this, thank goodness, and continued on her day. The next time I went to visit, she had found a freckle on her arm and came running up to me to show me that, just like me, she had a spot and she thought it was really cool, just like my skin. I have never felt so much pride and joy in my life when she told me that. Someone who was just very curious had accepted me without question and that was the most I could have ever asked for from anyone.

I realised that out of this exchange that perhaps, many people out there might just not be curious about vitiligo but, do not fully understand it. Although it is becoming a mainstream condition that is becoming more and more accepted, the information around the condition is still not readily available and given. I wondered if this was why people stared and in doing so made people who have Vitiligo feel uncomfortable? I then started asking on my support groups and this answered my question about this that in fact, people either asked about it in the wrong way to get information on the condition or, were too afraid to ask and by doing so, made those who have Vitiligo feel more uncomfortable. It has since become my goal to educate those who do not suffer with Vitiligo as well as help those who have Vitiligo to accept themselves.

 I still have a few questions about Vitiligo that have not been answered that concern me. What is my underlying condition that affects my immune system to attack my pigmentation in my skin? This I would still like to be answered and for a deeper dive into my family history as well as my medical aspect in order to get this information. After a bit of research I have found out about something called the Koebner Phenomenon which states that if there is a trauma to the skin, this wound can heal however, it might not regiment in those who have vitiligo. I would definitely like to continue on the journey of learning as much as I can in the medical field in order to understand fully the background and understanding of Vitiligo.

I now feel that throughout my journey, I have come to love my Vitiligo and, could not imagine a life without it.

I still sometimes have moments where I see someone with great skin and am envious of them however, for the most part, I love my skin. I have met so many great people and made amazing friends throughout my journey that I could never take that back, and would never want to. It is amazing what having a great support system around you can accomplish and what you can achieve when you have this. I thank each and every person who has crossed my path and added to my most trying and great journey.